I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
