the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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