Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize