so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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