so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize