Just cropdusted the office
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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