uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
