we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
