In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize