She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
