That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
