my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
