I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Everything about him screamed your future.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
