I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
