And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
