A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
