that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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