So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
