I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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