My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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