i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize