She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
