His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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