Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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