dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Drunk is not a location!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
