You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
