you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
