sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
