1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
