It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
