i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I still have a little drunk in my system
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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