When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
