You're completely useless in the revolution.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
