who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
