Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
