Cold hands, warm shart.
My nipple is on Facebook.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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