So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Let's get the cat blown out
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
