That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
