I seem to have left my pride at pride
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
