I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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