your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
