moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
