Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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