apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize