Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
