If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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