Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize