I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize