i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Randomize
