My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
