Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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