Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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