Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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