She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
