Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
