I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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