love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
