Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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