So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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