Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
