i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
