Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
