you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Randomize
