I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize