I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
