awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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