I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize