You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
