literally had 100 drinks last night.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
