Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
