So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
