dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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