I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I just googled if crying burns calories
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
