I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Life is so much better after having sex.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
