New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
