This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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