Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
